


Red K fallout

by immopengu



Series: kalex week 2018 [2]
Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, Kalex Week, kalex week 2018
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-20
Updated: 2018-10-20
Packaged: 2019-08-04 18:14:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 869
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16351649
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/immopengu/pseuds/immopengu
Summary: So here’s Monday, October 15: Red!K Kara!





	Red K fallout

**Author's Note:**

> I’m gonna be a bit slow with the prompts, work is killing me.

Kara watched Alex surreptitiously, knowing that her sister wouldn’t welcome the attention. Kara’s eyes drifted to Alex’s arm. A stable fracture. Set with expert skill, wrapped and put in a cast. With time, it would heal perfectly.

Kara had remembered that anger. Remembered throwing her sister against a car, had heard the snap, and smelled the dense aroma of pain rushing out of Alex’s pores.

And all Kara had wanted to do was to end it, to stop that smell, to wipe it out. To get rid of Alex, who caused her so much anguish. Who had evoked so many emotions in her while she was high on Red Kryptonite. Kara, deep in her heart just wanted Alex to disappear.

She still wanted that.

Deep inside her, Kara wanted the conundrum of Alex to disappear in a heatwave of cleansing fire from her eyes. To destroy all traces of Alex that made Kara feel small and unwanted, weak and unworthy.

Alex made her feel so… so…

Kara’s eyes drifted up from Alex’s arm, and startled to see her sister watching her, too, in that tired, exhausted way she does. Kara looked away, looked down at the sterile DEO floor. She was still in containment, 24 hours until they were sure the Red Kryptonite had been eradicated from her system. So Alex had stayed, despite Kara’s protests.

She wanted Alex to go away. As far away as possible. But Kara could hear Alex’s footsteps. Hated the sound of such sure, fearless steps. Alex should be afraid of her.

Kara could have killed Alex.

“Kara.”

Kara had to consciously ensure that her grip on the edges of the metal table remained loose and relaxed. She wasn’t a young, lost girl flung far from home anymore. She could regulate her strength. She had control. Kara was an adult by Earth standards and Kryptonian standards. Had been a trusted member of Kryptonian society. Had been a trusted member of National City’s society.

Had. Had. Had.

And here she was.

Kara tamped down on the frustration of her lot in life, pushed down the resentment until it settled back, deep into hiding, in the marrow of her bones. The itch of this world, clawing underneath her skin made her… restless. Always.

The Red Kryptonite had bled out of her system, but Kara still remembered how it felt to HATE this world. To hate the humans scurrying about the surface, oblivious and dull. Wrapped up in their own lives, unaware of how much suffering they caused, how their stupid machinations destroyed the fabric of any good they sought. How Kara wanted… how they MADE her want to bring them to heel.

The Red Kryptonite was gone but Kara remembered every one of those thoughts she had while every door she had kept tightly closed inside of her was kicked wide open. And even though she had apologised, wept at what she had broken, Kara… Kara could feel the truth of it, of all the things she wished she could say and do, that she HAD said and DID while in a red-hazed existence, the spectre of rage clutching tight to her.

They were truths, but they weren’t. It was the fine line between everything she thought, every uncharitable thought, every nagging suspicion, every mean retort she wanted to give. They weren’t true because she knew, Kara KNEW. KNEW that she believed in people despite everything, knew that she thought the world of J’onn. Kara understood why Alex kept her alien sister hidden, why Alex was so fierce in her protectiveness of Kara… why Alex had killed Kara’s aunt…

Alex.

Alex, Alex, Alex.

Kara loved Alex. Loved her and loved her and loved her. Loved her to the moon and back, and then some. And still she wouldn’t be able to properly communicate how much she loved Alex. Alex was everything.

“Kara.” A quiet exhale of her name and Kara leaned forward, letting her forehead rest against the middle of Alex’s chest, the thrum of Alex’s heart filling Kara’s ears. Kara inhaled, her breath hitching on a sob that tore from her throat.

She didn’t mean it. She didn’t mean it. Red Kryptonite had kicked down that door that Kara kept tightly locked, that deep yearning to join her family in the light of Rao. The deep-seated grief, the unfathomable guilt. The anger. The anger of being alive and well.

Alex held Kara as tight as possible, wrapping Kara in a one-armed embrace. Alex was the only thing that kept Kara in this world, that kept her going, that anchored and chained her to this life. If Alex was gone, Kara could go.

“I know.” Alex whispered, mouth pressed against the side of her head. Kissed her. And Kara knew that Alex knew. Alex always knew.

“I love you, Alex. I’m s-so sorry. I’m sorry…” That was all Kara could do, repeat the mantra.

“I know, Kar. I know.” Alex pressed another kiss into Kara’s hairline. “We’ll work through this together. It’ll be okay. I love you so much.”

And all Kara could do was finally lift her arms and hug Alex as tight as safely possible, and weep for all the things she had broken.


End file.
